Existential Psychology & Narcissism - Mini-Quiz For The 99%

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When we use existential as in existential psychology, existential alienation or an existential vacuum, we the authors mean only that the topic under discussion relates to the satisfying, mediocre or disappointing lifestyle men and women choose or have thrust upon them by society. For us, existential or life style values, attitudes, expectations, beliefs and choices have no connection with the purposeless European philosophy formerly called existentialism or know now as secular nihilism.

The anti-spiritual or too pragmatic devotees of nihilism which is a selfish belief in disbelief (or of meaninglessness) have devastated entire nineteenth and twentieth century generations with a hundred million battle deaths plus a great many political, religious and financial disasters within many nations. Life can still become nasty, brutish and short for many naïve or simply unfortunate women and men from a society that seems to have lost the ability to serve its members with wisdom.

Consider the sad fate of the millions of families who have lost their employment,life savings, educational opportunities and homes since 2008 because of the greed of a relatively few narcissistic investment bankers like Bernie Madoff and his ruthless narcissist peers who dominate the American Congress so completely that our much despised legislators have only a nine or ten percent approval rating by their victims.

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It was Sigmund Freud who resurrected the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus who was so enamored with his own beauty and charm that he rejected the worth of all other persons and eventually destroyed himself. Freud wove this all too common human failing into his psychoanalysis treatment system to represent the many neurotic souls who remain too selfish to co-operate with women and men in sound relationships and ventures.

The narcissistic scams that caused the world wide financial disaster of 2008 -- with a double dip recession threatened across Europe in 2011 and 2012 when few new jobs were created -- were neither acts of God nor the normal vicissitudes of fate. They were orchestrated by no more than three hundred or so wicked investment banker sharks and their greedy remoras. These were the primary users and abusers One percent of society who invented the mortgage bundling and other wicked schemes that sabotaged the world’s financial system in order to increase their already vast personal and institutional fortunes. Those greedy investment bankers certainly verified the old French witticism:

Behind every vast fortune is someone’s limitless greed and his great crime.
This was surely the case during the early twenty-first century mortgage scam that ravaged the world by those three hundred or so financial manipulators who control so much wealth that they fancy themselves beyond the physical, political, legal, financial and pychospiritual values and traditions that keep most ordinary persons honest stewards of their responsibilities and rewards.

These financial narcissists that included reactionary politicians, fundamental preachers and ideological plutocrats -- certainly did not feel required to obey the rules and regulations of governance and business that keep the peasants of society laboring for as little income as possible! The limitless narcissism of no more ideologues who could be carried aboard one Boeing 747 on a single flight, has made it much more difficult for we honest, hard working people to find consistent sources of life-style satisfaction for ourselves, our families and our institutions.

We reasonably well adjusted homosapien creature-selves have always been self-centered to some degree, although the narcissistic approach to existence emerged full blown from the anti-spiritual European assumption that we humans evolved by chance from a series of meaningless events - that we sentient beings appeared on earth because of a great Cosmic accident. Thus, a rigorous spirituality and sound ethics seemed pointless superstitions to deeply secular men and women. Both spirituality and ethics were often replaced by the less demanding feel-good esthetics of literature and the arts. Therefore, since the origins of life per se were considered a random event and human life a meaningless accident rather than spiritual and purposeful in nature -- the powerful triad of narcissistic users and abusers emerged in society; they prospered in virtually all research universities, governments, association, religions and corporations -- eventually deciding that our grubbing for personal possessions, power, prestige and pleasure could satisfy our souls. Thus, it seemed to make sense to secular minded manipulators that ordinary people should be satisfied by simply eating, drinking, fornicating and being merry because tomorrow we die. The narcissistic triad that we shall later discuss in greater detail include the following narcissists with their most damaging yearnings that well up out of their badly wounded souls --


REACTIONARY POLITICIANS WHO CRAVE TOTAL POWER OVER HUMANITY

FUNDAMENTAL PREACHERS WHO CRAVE OBEDIENCE AS GOD’S PROPHETS

IDEOLOGICAL PLUTOCRATS WHO CRAVE ENOUGH WEALTH TO DEFY DEATH


The cleverly orchestrated financial assault pre-2008 against society eventually self-destructed because great greed creates conflicting bubbles that inevitably burst after the perpetrators have taken to their golden parachutes. The recent financial manipulators simply couldn’t bring themselves to stop raiding our industrial civilization when they had already garnered enough wealth from ordinary families to cripple the entire world. This is why eight out of every ten contemporary Americans report that they are deeply frustrated with the way our nation’s politicians have stopped protecting the ordinary citizens who have neither the knowledge and wealth nor the time and strength needed to protect themselves from clever abusers who so corrupted our political system that the people cannot rely on it. Our many reactionary legislators have allowed this narcissistic triad of manipulators to cripple our once affluent middle class with its vast purchasing power that for decades kept America prosperous. As the great Elizabethan Era Lord McCauley wrote - virtually every dynasty, society, company or religion eventually commits suicide when the vested aristocracy refuses to adapt as circumstances shift and the powerful elite must change their ways or perish.

Much personal and communal cooperation simply fades away among the secular users and abusers who live primarily for possessions, power, prestige and pleasure -- who often plunge ruthlessly along without a lasting sense of spiritual purpose for their labors and permanence in their relationships. Faith, hope and love are considered delusions of weak souls who haven’t the ruthlessness and strength to wrest everything they desire from a naïve society. The peasants shall have to be satisfied with their weak families and friends, their work and simple games and their absurd worship -- while the manipulators skim the cream off the top. This is still the rationalization of wounded souls who are driven neurotically to seize so much wealth and power from society that they can never be challenged again. Not even by death! Of course this self-defeating narcissism of crippled creature-selves appeals to the young, restless and discontented as well as to many narcissistic adults who are determined to become powerful and prestigious in life regardless of whom they use and abuse along the way.

Living for more and more possessions, power, pleasure and prestige alone, rather than completing purposeful activities and developing permanent relationships, goes against the grain of every personalized or living religion and every legitimate philosophy of existence. Normally healthy women and men are first, last and always spiritual creature-selves who need both the mystical and earthy aspects of life within the Cosmos in order to become completely human. Unfortunately, narcissism and nihilism do virtually nothing to open avenues of personal meaning in places where we belong communally among good people with whom we share love, labor and leadership.

Nevertheless -- despite our inevitable frustrations and challenges of a life crippled by its obvious legitimate secular and materialistic needs, the application of Frankl and DeVille Logotherapy concepts and processes does indeed remove many discontents and frustrations through a sound psychospiritual development of personal meaning in places where we belong among good persons. Download Your Search For A Meaningful Life, to read more.

Mini-Quiz

WRITE A SAMPLE SENTENCE OR TWO THAT DEFINES THE TERM “EXISTENTIAL",  TO YOUR SATISFACTION.

WHEN HAVE YOU HAD TO COPE WITH THE EVIL NARCISSISTIC TRIAD OF REACTIONARY POLITICIANS, FUNDAMENTAL PREACHERS AND IDEOLOGICAL PLUTOCRATS? THEIR VICTIMS.

Jard DeVille has published more than a score of psychology books, seminars and psychological assessment instruments. His book NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was a powerful best seller. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP was New American Library's offering in their Executive Development Series. Download Your Search For A Meaningful Life and visit Logotherapy Learning Center and The Fulfillment Forum for Free Ebooks.

A PRINCIPLE OF SOUND RELATIONSHIPS

The sound Basic Principle of Life we want others to learn from us is this --

GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO COOPERATE WITH ME.
BAD THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO COOPERATE WITH ME.
GOOD THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T COOPERATE.

The Basic Principle is effective in normal relationships because people prefer:

PLEASURE TO PAIN IN THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE,
PRESTIGE TO DEVALUATION IN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE,
PURPOSE TO MEANINGLESSNESS IN THE PHILOSOPHICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE.

Obviously, the world has fallen on difficult times because change has become incessant and we have accepted secular philosophies that go against the grain of human spirituality. And of course, any attempt to keep the cultural traditions of our uneducated, pre-industrial ancestors as Truth Incarnate is self-destructive. Nevertheless, that is precisely what many persons try to do. The passage of time and the flood of new persons being born and growing up changes everything until we are like the befuddled King of Siam in the musical play THE KING AND I. He sings:

When I was a boy, what was what.
Now I am a man, things have changed a lot.
Some things nearly so, some things nearly not.

We humans are inclined to pack our beliefs in bundles - to cast them in concrete with handles on them, so we can pass then on unchanged and unchallenged to our children and their children. Just as our parents and our grandparents tried to do. We will, as the king continued to sing:

Fight to prove what we do not know is so! Tis a puzzlement!

This means, of course, that you must assume the responsibility for yourself and the people for whom you are responsible because huge societies never collapse overnight And yet, they seldom adapt in time to save themselves. Half a century ago Billy Graham was saying that America was in trouble, that without a spiritual renewal such as John Akers and Lee Atwater discussed years later, we were doomed to defeat as a society. He preached that only through a spiritual restoration with strong philosophical values could we mature enough to succeed. We did respond to Graham's call, from 4 or 5 percent who said they followed a spiritual life-style in 1940, to 35 or 40 percent who say they do now, and yet we are still in trouble because of the even swifter growth of Nihilism in our institutions and our human reluctance to adapt.

Fortunately, through years of study and counseling, we have identified a Basic Logotherapy Principle of satisfaction that will help keep you on the right track as you cope with widespread nihilism and narcissism. This principle isn't what a greedy society offers people, this is what you as an AUTHENTIC or a CONGRUENT promise to the people with whom you share life. It is this:

GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO COOPERATE IN ORDER TO REDUCE ALIENATION AND TO ADVANCE OUR COLLECTIVE FULFILLMENT

The title of Jard's first major book - NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST - was fascinating to reporters, talk show hosts and newspaper editors. Some of them wanted to believe he was right but a significant number of people with closed-minded life-themes wanted to prove he was an idiot to think such obvious nonsense. Every intelligent person knows, some reporters implied, that nice guys finish last Leo Derocher, the baseball guru, even wrote a book to that effect John Kelly was the host of a killer talk show in a large Ohio city who did everything but put a dunce cap on Jard's head when he arrived before a studio audience of three hundred persons, while many thousands viewed out in the community. He even seated him on a stool before beginning his attack. Kelly then asked the studio audience to vote on the proposition that decent men and women can succeed. About half said Jard was correct, that nice people can do well, while the other half decided he was all wet, good persons don't have a chance in this lousy, rotten world. That was interesting since none of the audience had read the book; had no idea what he'd written, although they were willing enough to judge in advance. Kelly then turned to Jard and gloated over the negative vote, Now, Doc, How are you gonna handle the skeptics? He then sat down in the audience while the three cameras whirled up close, presumably to watch Jard sweat as the people grilled him.

Jard started out by agreeing with the host, admitting if you define a decent guy or gal as a wimp, a doormat, a marshmallow - such a person couldn't expect ranch in a nihilistic, pragmatic society. On the other hand, he said, I define nice guys and gals as persons like Joe Butterworth who apply life's Basic Principle through:

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS CONSISTENTLY WISELY AND WELL,
SHARING LIFE'S GREATEST REWARDS WITH COOPERATIVE WOMEN AND MEN,
CREATING A COMMUNITY OF ACHIEVING PERSONS WHO BELONG TOGETHER.

Jard leaned back on the stool, folded his arms and waited quietly while the cameras frantically panned around for some kind of action. Kelly was so startled by the statement that he sat silently considering the answer for thirty seconds or more and that's an eternity of dead time on television, before coming slowly to his feet. He muttered right on camera - Well, I'll be damned - I never thought of it that way. He was hooked and rather than the six minutes Jard was supposed to have, he discussed NICE GUYS for thirty minutes and sold a lot of books in the community! When the audience voted again, only two persons out of three hundred still said that Jard was all wet. He went home and the next Sunday took our minister aside to repeat the story. He concluded, If you had my conversion rate, we'd be the largest congregation in the city!

This basic element of consistent satisfaction, dealing fairly in your relationships, sharing the benefits of cooperation and offering others a community where they can belong with people who support each other - will surely go a long ways toward making your life the best it can become. It is a practical expression of the faith, hope and love that is vital to consistent growth. There is another aspect to the basic principle. It is:

BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO COOPERATE IN OUR ACTIVITIES AND RELATIONSHIPS

You must recognize the obvious - that accidents occur, recessions come, companies fail and much more in an imperfect world. The Tragic Quartet of suffering, rage, guilt and death is all too real. However, to the limit of your abilities, you promise to be consistently open-minded and accepting of other people in your relationships. You shall neither blame women and men for your own failures nor punish them for circumstances beyond their control. You will not hide when people require your help and will end all cruel psychological games designed to hurt someone who gets sucked into some hateful scheme. Because you serve society in an organization or as a free-lance as a committed person should, according to the by-product approach to satisfaction, you will apply faith, hope and love to guarantee meaning and belonging that wells up out of your accepting life-style. You become a mature person in your relationships and that gives you better opportunities to influence other persons toward a satisfying life.

There is one more factor to the Basic Principle.

GOOD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO COOPERATE IN GETTING GOOD THINGS DONE


Accepting and maturing men and women don't want to be cruel even though we all are frustrated at times and tempted to become aggressive or apathetic. However, we are finite persons with limited time and resources to invest in a satisfying life. Therefore, we have not only the right but the responsibility to use our powers where they will accomplish the greatest good for ourselves, the people we support and for humankind. Be patient; don't write people off too soon. Offer distressed or difficult men and women time to understand, despite possibly negative life-themes and low expectations that you mean well. Work with them and discover ways to convince others that you do indeed work, love and play according to sound Logotherapy principles. Be very patient as you try to lead people to consistent satisfaction.

Nevertheless, as finite persons, times do come when we cannot invest still more effort in the activities of some people without depriving someone else of something vital. Some of the people we try to help, have hidden agendas or vested interests that are destructive to those you support. When that happens you should move on however regretfully, to use your time and energy for someone who will respond to your support and generosity. Even the deeply accepting Jesus said something about not casting one's pearls before swine, but then, he may have been having a bad day. We were forced to abandon Andy the musician who hates himself and everyone else. We had taken him in after he was released from prison, put him in our upstairs apartment without charging him rent and fed him for several months. Despite doing our best, he grew consistently angry and aggressive in drunken fits, swearing at and threatening to harm Roberta, our daughter and an elderly aunt, until Jard drove him away at pistol point in order to protect the family. We'd done all we could for Andy and was not going to have him abuse us in order to meet his selfish, distorted needs. Our good efforts simply could not continue for a man who was threatening violence against us and someone we love. We all have to be tough at times.
The Basic Principle is effective in normal relationships because the vast majority of people prefer:

PLEASURE TO PAIN IN THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE,
PRESTIGE TO DEVALUATION IN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE,
PURPOSE TO MEANINGLESSNESS IN THE PHILOSOPHICAL ASPECTS OF LIFE.

Apply this principle in your relationships - Good things happen to people who cooperate with me and discover why it is so successful a method for relating to others, for enhancing your growth and influencing others to a fulfilling life-style.

MAKING YOUR LIFE COUNT

Our lifestyle psychology course NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST shows you How To Get People To Do What You Want And Thank You For It.

The only way to make reluctant persons let you win every pot at cards, take home every attractive lover or get the lion’s share of the money, is by cheating, bullying or stealing everything you want. You shall have to outwit, outrun or out-bluff the people you want to take advantage of. The major trouble with that deceptive approach is society develops its own ways of dealing with people like that. Unless you get out of town ahead of the mob coming with tar and feathers, moving every few months to new hunting grounds, life can get very painful. Of course you could take up free lance bank robbing or selling dope down by the elementary school -- after your company fires you, your kids run away from home and your spouse files for divorce.


IN THIS COURSE YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO:

• Identify the personality patterns that motivate yourself and other women and men.

• Consistently get inside the thought processes of the people you want to influence.

• Persuade other persons to tell you everything you want to know about anything.

• Identify the step by step progression of a successful interpersonal relationship.

• Master several powerful conflict avoidance and conflict control techniques.

• Use a refusal to cooperate as a request for additional information.

• Climb the cooperation ladder to consistent interpersonal success.

• Finalize agreements so there are fewer brush fires for you to fight.

MAKING YOUR LIFE COUNT

This course is about people and about succeeding or failing in life, since some degree of success and failure are the only real options that are open to us. It is written with the knowledge that neither power nor pleasure exists in a vacuum. Virtually everything good we do in life requires the cooperation of people in different ways. And every one of them has his or her own agenda that is personally important.

Therefore, you will have to overpower, out-skill, deceive, or persuade others before society will consistently allow you to share in the marbles, money, passionate lovers, prestige or promotions you want. Only in this way can you make your life count for something worthwhile.

Of course, few of the people who are succeeding are willing to share their hard-earned knowledge with you. Mentors are hard to find and they always want much in return for any help they offer.

The purpose of this course is to teach you how to predict the attitudes and activities of the men and women you must influence every day in order to keep your life successful. It also shows you how to influence their choices in ways they approve by using sound methods of personal effectiveness. You can do these things by learning and using powerful techniques developed by some very good psychiatrists and psychologists. These methods are unknown to most people, although professional therapists, consultants and social workers have been using them for decades with much success.

Most people struggle through life the best way they can, succeeding once in a while, but more often failing because they never learned how to consistently make good things happen when and where they are needed. They simply blunder along -- accepting whatever the luck of the draw offers them daily, never really taking charge of their relationships in a mutually rewarding manner that keeps people cooperating with them.

Many persons try to succeed by using the values, attitudes, expectations, and skills they chanced on in childhood. Unfortunately, in this age of relentless change, when power and authority are shared by more and more people, to depend on what you picked up as a youngster is a poor way to shape your life into a successful affair. In our conventional behavioral patterns many mistakes have been handed down from generation to generation. At home you were probably socialized not to ask embarrassing questions of your elders. At school you were expected to memorize the correct answers. And if you are like most people, you are still waiting for someone to ask the right questions so you can show what a good student you were. Unfortunately for your welfare, no one is ever going to ask them, since most of the answers you learned in school are no longer appropriate. Yet -- millions of men and women who would never imagine crossing the country by covered wagon instead of jet aircraft, who would never take some medicine man's snake-oil cure, try to succeed in life by using methods that were outdated a century ago. And then can’t understand why they aren't among the successful achievers.

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